| There's something about "You've Got Mail" that gets me everytime. I'm not sure what it is really. But it's just...me. Slightly nostalgic and poetic. Slightly scatterbrained and silly. And at times, single, wanting a relationship that means more than anything in the world, reaching out and grasping for something to hold on to, but yet, not able to get it. Maybe it's the hope that I won't be reaching into thin air all my life, and that maybe, just maybe, one day while my hand has just gotten done reaching and is actually coming back to me for a break, someone else's hand reaches out and grasps mine...and doesn't let go... Kathleen Kelly is a very interesting character. Her mother has died. She owns and runs the little children's book store that her mother left her. Her only friends are the three people who have always worked in her store, and her boyfriend, who has somehow turned into more or less of a brother than a lover because the relationship has gotten so comfortable. Her life revolves around this little book store. She knows nothing else than the upper west side of New York City. Amanda Arbaugh is a very interesting character. Her parents are still living, but her mother has just lost her job. She goes to this little college, which she has been attending for what seems like an eternity. She doesn't really have that many friends, but does have a few close ones. She has just gotten out of a very serious relationship which strangly got comfortable within a very small amount of time, just before it ended. Her life revolves around this little school. She knows not much else, other than downtown Omaha. Kathleen Kelly had to come to the realization that her book store isn't going to last forever, infact, she had to close it. She finds herself isolated. Far from being in her comfortable little rut she had been in for so long. She rarely saw her friends anymore and had to start looking for something to sustain her through the uncertain future. Amanda Arbaugh had to come the realization that school isnt' going to last forever, infact, she's graduating in four very short months! She'll find herself isolated. Far from being in her comfortable little rut she had been in for so long. She'll rarely see her friends anymore and will have to start looking for something to sustain her through teh uncertain future soon, or she might have to move home with her parents!!! (Scary thought.) The one thing that scares me most about graduating is that I don't know what I'll be doing or how I'll get along or where I'm going to live or with whom I'll be socializing with. I guess that's more than one thing, but still, for those of you who have had to think about being single aftter college, know what I'm talking about. My degree isn't really anything that I can use in today's world. I have no specific qualifications. I can't just say, "Yes, I have a bachelor's degree from a conservative Christian college. No, it's not in anything in particular...but I did take some classes in this area. So how bout it, Mr. CEO...Do you want to hire me?" And expect something good to come of it! I don't have certificates in anything. I don't have anything, really. I'm just stuck. I know God made me to be a stay-at-home-mom and a house wife. But see, there's one little problem. It's called being single. I can't be a house wife, because I'm not married. And I can't be a stay-at-home-mom because a.) I'm not married, and b.) I don't have any kids. And quite frankly, from where I'm at now, I don't see any of that happening anytime soon. Unless someone decides to sweep me off my feet tomorrow or next week sometime, or anytime in the near future for that matter. I don't really want to be one of those people who are 30 something and still single. I don't want to be one of those people who have to resort to a bar or the internet just to meet someone. And being out of school soon, I don't know how else I can meet someone! I mean, the church I go to now is very much dead for my age group. The only guy my age is engaged to someone else. My work isn't pretty much out of the question because the other people who work there are either too old for me or too young, not to mention I'm one of 3 Christians who work there. So, that's pretty much it. I'm too shy to meet someone at Terra Nova if I ever get out there. And besides, I highly doubt that anyone would honestly and seriously want to come up to me and ask me out to coffee. It's never happened before, and I don't see it happening ever. If anyone does actually read this, I have a question for you, my loyal reader. Have you ever been where I am? Am I alone in my feelings? I guess I just want to feel normal about what I feel. I want to know that I'm not as alone as I feel and that I can have someone to connect to in that way. What does the future hold? All I've ever known is school. And now, there's nothing for me! Maybe that's why people devote themselves to school and keep getting higher and higher degrees. Then finally, one day, they've received their third doctorate and come to the realization that they really don't know why they've been in school. They don't know what they are going to do, even though they are highly qualified to teach at any ivy league school. Sometimes because of the way my life is, the way my personality is, the way things fall in my life in general, I wonder if I'm actually supposed to be around. I wonder if I really have a purpose in life. It's these times that I expect the rapture to occur or for a terrible car accident to happen that will take my life. I'm not suicidal or anything. I can't imagine taking my own life, the act of dying scares me pretty silly. But what if. What if I've fulfilled my purpose years ago and God has kind of spaced off the fact that I'm supposed to have gone home a long time ago? What if I'm right and I am going to die tomorrow or the rapture is going to happen tomorrow? Would anyone really mourn me? Would people miss me? I don't mean a, "Oh, we missed you in church yetserday." Or, "Oh, yeah, you were gone, we missed you." I mean, a soul aching, wrenching feeling of deep and utter loss. Would people just continue on with their days, or lean over to whisper something to me and realize that I won't be coming back? Have I made an impact on the world? Have I made an impact on others? Girl Found Inside Incinerated Car
Family Mourns Loss OMAHA - A local girl was found in her car today. It is believed that she lost control of her car on the icy roads on her way back to school from running errands. The car allegedly flipped twice before bursting into flames. Paramedics on the scene believe that she died instantly and felt little pain due to the injuries incurred from the flipping vehicle. The girl's name has been reported as Amanda Arbaugh, Grace Universtiy student, Underwood, Iowa, was her hometown. She would have graduated college this May with a bachelor's in Youth Ministry and had planned on going to China with the Grace Brass Ensamble and Clarinet Trio. She played the trumpet. She is survived by her mother and father, brother, sister-in-law, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. A visitation and memorial service will be scheduled for later in the week. Is this how I will be remembered? Is this all that will be left of my memory? Or will people think back and say, she was a great girl, and stuff like that. Oh, to be Kathleen Kelly.....Or perhaps I am.... |
